Day 1 I was loathe to leave the dappled light of the cedars that greeted me at the Granite Lake trailhead. It was spellbinding: narrow gaps in the dense canopy, ferns aglow. The creek danced in muted splashes over polished granite stones, giving sound to its name. I was glad for the quick attunement to the landscape. It aided me in finding the appropriate pace for the challenges that lie ahead. Three days of difficult hiking lay ahead to find out if a composition would work t

Headwalls and Waterfalls | A dreamy little falls cascades through a tunnel of lush foliage in the Great Burn Recommended Wilderness on the latest backpacking trip. Was I waking from a nightmare or slipping into a lovely dream as soft footsteps fell beneath ancient cedars? After a summer in the shadows it was hard to tell. The vibrancy of moss and ferns along the trail was almost too much to bear. Serving as guide, the South Fork of Trout Creek led the way, tumbling, babblin

Lilly Light | A glacier lilly takes the spotlight in the upper Rattlesnake neighborhood of Missoula. Since the first blog post, nearly two months ago, I’ve skipped out on three more backpacking trips. PT continues and the hip/knee pain is improving. The worst pain has been the mental anguish of overthinking this entire enterprise (and the pain). It is an internal battle of expectations rooted in perfect execution versus, well, reality. The gap between these two, I’m learnin

Holland Lake Magic | Crepuscular rays break out over Holland Lake in the Swan Valley. Depression shrinks the world. Invisible walls of the mind are formidable barriers, it turns out, containing my physical being to a space the size of an oversized sofa. On an hourly cycle, I pause whatever trashy YouTube video I’m watching to pace the living room. For a moment, I feel a surge of life. But life, I’m quickly reminded, is exhausting and I am back on the couch within five minut

Longest Shadows | A shadow swallows the landscape as the sun sets in the North Hills. Depression is difficult to describe to the uninitiated. It is even more difficult to describe to the initiated. Its expression is as diverse as its hosts. The word carries the weight of a thousand bison stood on one's chest, more than enough to crush a person, but somehow not enough to zero out vital signs. How odd it is to be alive in body but dead in spirit. Every breath is labored, but

Golden Hour, Rattlesnake Creek | Rattlesnake Creek takes flight from its headwaters in the Rattlesnake Wilderness. I am rereading Indian Creek Chronicles by Pete Fromm for what has to be the 4th, 5th or 10th time. The book, chronicling the author’s experience manning a remote wilderness outpost in Idaho for seven months in the 1980s, is nourishment for the wild soul. Each passage is a dispatch from a recent, yet bygone era. Alone on the edge of the largest Wilderness comple

The Goat | This impeccably groomed mountain goat posed or a moment in the Great Burn Recommended Wilderness. My first official Wilderness to Wilderness trip ended almost as soon as it began. Heading into this first trip to the Great Burn Recommended Wilderness, I'd been struggling with a recurring IT band issue. The discomfort had become especially acute in the final weeks leading up to the trip. I had my doubts about hitting the trail, but optimism ultimately won out (alon